“And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.”
Mark 3:25 KJV
There are thirty things you must do to have an enviable marriage. A marriage that is full of joy, peace, fun and romance. Doing them in your marriage will make people think you are foolish, stupid or that your spouse has used “Juju” to capture you.
If you are a man, people will say your wife is using diabolical power to control you. They will warn you that your wife will ruin your life. If you are a woman, they will say you’ve lost your mind. They will tell you that men are not dependable, and you should not put all your eggs in one basket.
You see, the things they call “stupid” or “foolish” are the actual things that make a marriage work. You need to know these “stupid things”. Do them regularly and make your marriage what you’ve ever wanted it to be. Your dream marriage is possible if you can do these thirty things I will be showing you. If you fail to do them, I’m afraid you can NEVER have a great marriage. Reading this and practising them will bring your struggles in marriage to an end. Let me show them to you here.
1. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE WITHOUT SHAME
“And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.” Genesis 26:8 KJV
Do not be ashamed to love your wife or husband; don’t hide the fact that you are in love. People expect the unmarried to love each other and show it, but the married must not do the same. Don’t mind them. Let them think you are stupid. Love your spouse without shame.
2. SPEND QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Lots of your friends will prefer you spend time with them than with your spouse. They will think you are stupid if you don’t club or party with them. You are doing well if you ignore them. Spend time with your spouse.
3. TALK ABOUT YOUR SPOUSE OFTEN
People hate it when you talk about your spouse. Rather, they will want you to keep quiet about your marital status. Don’t mind them. Let everybody know you are married.
4. PUT ON YOUR WEDDING RING ALWAYS
How many guys are wearing their wedding rings in your office? You will discover that they are few. They are not wearing them because they don’t want people to mock them for being a “woman wrapper.” Don’t join them. Put on your wedding ring; there is dignity in it.
5. WEAR MATCHING CLOTHES WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Can you wear matching cloth with your spouse? Most men do not like this; they don’t want people to mock them. Don’t mind them, put on your “Anco” with your darling spouse and enjoy your moments together.
6. TRUST YOUR SPOUSE
“Women cannot be trusted”, “all men are polygamists”, “don’t trust them”, etc., are the music you must have been hearing over and over. They are telling you not to trust anybody. This is not true. Of course, we have some people who are not trustworthy, and we have millions of people you can trust with your life. Unless you have good reasons not to do this, trust and love your spouse with all your heart.
7. SHOP WITH YOUR WIFE
You must have heard that “only weak men follow women to the market”. So they discourage you from shopping with your wife so that you will not be a weak man. This is not right. Have delight in shopping with your wife. Only real men can do this.
8. SHOP FOR YOUR WIFE
Don’t shop with your wife only, shop for her. Go ahead and get what she needs. Hit the mall and get what she wants for her. That makes you more than a husband. You are a lover boy.
9. DISPLAY PUBLIC AFFECTION
Boyfriends and girlfriends can display affection publicly, but married couples do not. This is wrong. You are legally married. Hold the hands of your spouse in public, touch each other, and give each other goodbye hugs and kisses at the airport and train stations.
10. LET YOUR WIFE KNOW YOUR MOVEMENT
They told you your wife must not know your movement because you are a man. Sorry bros, you are not just a man, you are the husband of somebody, and that person has the right to know where you are at every time. This is not monitoring; it is responsibility and maturity.
11. LET YOUR WIFE KNOW YOUR PHONE CODES
There is nothing bad if your wife knows your phone codes. Why are you locking your phone if you don’t have a skeleton in your cupboard?
12. LET YOUR SPOUSE KNOW YOUT ATM PIN
Letting your spouse know your ATM pin looks stupid to many. But to mature married ones, there is nothing bad about it.
13. COOK FOR YOUR WIFE
The kitchen is not labelled “for wives only”. So get into the kitchen and cook. It may look stupid to ego-filled and village-mentality-controlled people, but it is a great thing to do if you are a good man.
14. SUPPORT YOUR HUSBAND FINANCIALLY
You are not a “help eat”, you are a helpmeet. Open your bag or wallet and support your husband to pay fees, rent, rate, fares, bills, etc. That is why you are his helper. You are not stupid; you are only Godly.
15. BE SUBMISSIVE TO YOUR HUSBAND
To some people, it’s not modern to be submissive to your husband. But you must know that it is still Godly, loving and wise to do so. Also, it is a sign that you are a virtuous woman.
16. OBEY YOUR HUSBAND
Don’t just submit to your husband, go ahead, obey him and his leadership. Your husband is the head of your home; humble yourself before him.
17. MAKE YOUR WIFE NUMBER ONE IN YOUR LIFE
Your mum, siblings or friends must not be number one in your life but your wife. That is the only face you will see in your old age. Your parents must have died, and your children must have got married. It is only your wife that will be with you. Love her and put her first after God, no matter what they say.
18. MAKE YOUR HUSBAND NUMBER ONE IN YOUR LIFE
It is wrong to make your children number one in your life. Your friends, parents and siblings are important, but your husband should be the most important. They may think you are stupid; you are not. You are only building your marriage. They will come back to envy you.
19. CONSIDER YOUR SPOUSE WHEN MAKING CAREER DECISIONS
You have a “better offer” somewhere, but it will take you away from your family and make your wife/husband a single parent. Please, don’t take it. Let me give you the BEST OFFER, stay with your spouse and build your career together. It is more expensive to be alone than to be together. It will affect your marriage, children and everything around you if you go. Let them say you are stupid. Stay together.
20. LOVE YOUR SPOUSE MORE THAN YOUR SIBLINGS
Let your love first go to the one you chose; your spouse. Loving your siblings or family members more than your spouse is wrong.
21. BE OPEN TO YOUR SPOUSE
In marriage, secrets are as dangerous as lies. Be transparent and honest with your spouse about everything, no darkroom. Share everything from passwords to Facebook, phones, ATM pins, etc. No part of your life should be hidden from your spouse; there should be no off-limits to your spouse. That is why we call it marriage.
22. HAVE SPOUSAL BIAS
Be biased in favour of your spouse. You should always be in the camp of your spouse. People should be able to predict what your loyalty will be and that it will be in support of your spouse.
23. DEFEND YOUR WIFE OR HUSBAND NO MATTER WHAT
This may look stupid to people, but don’t mind them. Always defend your spouse in public. If your spouse is wrong in public, it is better to keep quiet than join people and fight him or her. Go ahead, defend your spouse in public and tell each other the bitter truth when you get back home.
24. SLEEP WITH ONLY ONE MAN OR WOMAN ALL YOUR MARRIED LIFE
Your friends may be hailing you to get a side chick or side cock. Don’t mind them. Sex is not better abroad only; get it at home. Sleep with your spouse only.
25. GET A SEXY GIFT FOR YOUR WIFE
Be the one to get your wife a bra, sexy pants, camisole, sexy night dress, etc. You should know the size of what your wife wears, from shoes to pants to a bra. I mean everything. Be proud to buy these and let your friends know you do. No shame.
26. WASH EACH OTHER’S UNDERWEAR
Don’t just buy your wife underwear, go ahead and wash them if they are dirty. Most women don’t find it difficult to wash their husbands’ underwear, but men are reluctant. If they do, they can’t say it before their friends. Change the narration. Wash them and say it to your friends if they ask.
27. GO ON REGULAR DATES
Create time to date each other no matter the age of your marriage. If you can’t date, your marriage will be out of date soon.
28. PLAY TOGETHER LIKE CHILDREN
Enjoy playing together with your spouse. Playfulness is the mother of romance. Don’t be official in your marriage, don’t be an executive, be playful and be romantic.
29. KEEP TOUCHING
Enjoy touching your spouse. Holding hands, hugging, lapping, cuddling, back scrubbing, massaging, etc. Make sure you touch each other regularly every day.
30. ENJOY SEX WITH YOUR SPOUSE
Enjoy kinky time with your spouse, I mean real tantalizing sex. Play for it, crave for it, date your spouse for it, look forward to it, do it with joy, spend time on it and do it with great creativity. You are married, don’t be ashamed to have sex with your beloved spouse.
IF YOU TRULY WANT TO ENJOY YOUR MARRIAGE, DO THESE TWO THINGS URGENTLY
1. Download this Book, MARRIAGE WITHOUT TEARS by Bisi Adewale
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