Marriage decision is one of the most vital decision that everyone will have to make in Life, you will agree with me, that no matter how busy and how career oriented you are, when it is time to get marry, the desire for a partner will overwhelm you, and at this junction, you will desire to have relationship with the opposite sex, you want to have a female friend, or you just want to be closer to a female person.
This is normal in life, but you need wisdom and knowledge to get it right and make the appropriate decision in this direction, that is why I always tell people, go for knowledge, don’t assume you know something that you don’t know, get books, listen to tapes, from people whose field over time as been to counsel and direct people in marital issues, their experience and knowledge can go a long way to guide your steps, one of the errors of young people, is to think and believe they know it already, this thing is disastrous, what you don’t know is bigger than you, ensure you embrace the knowledge that can help you excel in that area of life.
Today, for our wonderful young men out there, I will be listing some important and useful tips on how to choose the right partner, how to make the appropriate choices, not everybody can journey with you in your life.
You need that one person that is meant for you, and not multiple women as some men do these days, your Joy and Happiness in life comes largely from your marriage and home, and these two are dependent on the strength of your partner, if you have the right partner, congratulations, you can enjoy more peace of mind in Life.
5 Things to watch out for in a Woman before you make her Your Wife;
Many times, people say, “I am looking for someone compatible with me, or my lifestyle and so on, the honest truth is, you won’t see anyone compatible with you, because the both of you are from different environment, different backgrounds, different tribes and upbringing, what you need is not compatibility, what you need is adaptability. How adaptable are you? How are you both coping with one another, let me tell the young people something today, don’t agree with those who says, “I can’t take shit”, the honest truth is, if you are getting married, you are going to take a lot of shit.
Marriage is not for the perfect type, is never for the ones without errors, your partner at one point or the other will offend you, disappoint you and hurt you, you need to develop the ability to survive this tendencies, that is why you cannot find someone that you are perfectly compatible, but you can find someone that you are both adaptable, and this is very easy to achieve, be the kind of partner you want, because like begat like, often times, we attract whom we are, she may not be everything you desire, but adaptability comes to make things work out just fine, instead of searching for a perfect person, remember your partner is a human being, not an angel. The emphasis is, if you are not adapting to each other, don’t force it, let it go, because you may regret it at the end of the day.
This is another major factor, the both of you must be on the same page, after adaptability, vision is the next thing, there must be vision agreement, the both of you may have different dreams and aspiration but vision requires that there is a joining of forces together, you cannot marry a woman without vision, a woman that lives for anything will fall for everything, before you make her your wife, ensure she has a vision, otherwise; she will end up a liability for you and not an asset. Some women have the wrong idea of marriage and destiny, they want their husband to do everything while they just come and enjoy what as been done, this is wrong, you are not a property or a material or a child manufacturing machine, you are a helpmate for your husband, you must be an asset in the marriage, and the way to get that done is by having a vision, something you are living for, a value you are adding to lives and humanity. The Idea or culture that segregates the female gender is not applicable in this dispensation, women are rising to the top of their career and life now than ever before, so don’t wait until a wealthy man come and marry you, you can make something out of your life now, this is one of the factors that will attract the right kind of men to you, when you are worth great substance.
My Great Men out there, please don’t joke with this, you are going to be in marriage forever, don’t marry because of beauty and sex, check the quality of her relationship with God, a lady that does not reference and honor God will not honor you either, we read, hear and see all manner of crazy things happening in the society today, how can a lady, cheat on her husband, on top of their matrimonial bed, isn’t that weird? I have read such news over and over again, this is to show us the level of spiritual bankruptcy of such an individual, someone who honors God will never ever behave in that manner, that is why you must ensure, she loves God, she values God and his word, someone who doesn’t consider God will do terrible things, will bring problem to your life in no small way.
The bible says, Godliness is profitable unto all things, so the level of godliness in your partner will profit your marriage in no small way, I can’t just understand why a married woman will still be cheating, some will still visit their ex, this is wickedness, you are married now, your body belongs to your husband not yours any more, you cannot live anyhow again because you are now bound with a covenant. Men, the only way to escape terrible pitfalls in marriage and destiny is to ensure your partner knows God and loves God, this is so critical, It will give you Joy and Peace of mind, when you have someone that pray, and it is easy to know, especially when you are dating or during courtship, does she go to church? When you talk about God, how does she react? Does she loves the cinema, game, club more than the house of God? I know there are cases whereby you can influence your partner into loving God the more, you can even make them to become more spirituality by your own spirituality, yes! This is possible, but watch out; the moment your partner is uncomfortable with anything that has to do with God, the future is not in good shape.
Intimacy, proximity is foster by effective communication, a relationship without appropriate communication will not yield well, this is very important. If your partner does not check on you, does not care, does not talk to you, you are the only one always doing the talking, my brother, something is very wrong, your heart ought to be beat the same, the desire ought to be similar. It is not supposed to be one sided. Your love and desire for your partner, her presence, her voice and everything, is good but she ought to have the same feeling with you. Don’t think you will always be emotional in marriage, this Is not possible, there will be time, she will be naked right in front of you, yet you won’t feel anything, your body will not be moved an inch, so communication is one thing the both of you can never stop doing together in marriage, every day and night, you will always have something to say, you will even communicate more with each other than you have sec with each other, if you cannot communicate well now, it may not happen in the future.
Men are bound to come home to a wife, they can pour their heart to, a woman they can tell everything about the day, the office, what happened in their businesses and co, and this applies very well to women too.
Be a good listener and effective communicator, don’t be dry, be such an individual that knows how to spice up every moment with your partner, this is very important, marriage will be boring and vulnerable when communication is not effective, communication also requires been able to read her body language, it is not verbal alone. So men, ensure you watch out for this factor in a woman, that is why, my recommendation over the year is; marry your friend!
Don’t just marry her before of her sexy body, or her look, or the color of her skin, marriage a friend, someone that you can freely open to, talk with about anything and everything. I know some ladies are not good in talking or are not effective, you can help her to get better in so doing, by ensuring, your own manner is better and more effective, she can learn from you and change, if she truly loves you, every relationship should make the both party better than they use to be, this is very important.
Most of the marriages I have counseled in the past, they have issues more on money matters than sex, money is giving many homes problem even much more than sex, infact; I can say money as open door to sexual problem more than anything else in marriage.
It is important that a man settles down very well, in his life before getting married, this doesn’t mean you should be a millionaire before you marry, what I mean is, have a stable income, have a skill, a professional skill, a striving Business, good Job, stable employment or even if you are self-employed, ensure your Business line is both reliable and sustainable, because no finance, no romance, this is the honest truth. I am saying this because there is somewhere I am going, but I want this teaching to be a balanced one. Don’t marry a woman who is excessively crazy about MONEY! This is a time-bomb, if she is money crazy, then she is a trap waiting to happen, she is destruction in motion.
I know a lot of men will have problem with this statement, because normally every women likes money, Yes! But not excessively, a woman that likes money excessively will remain a prostitute in marriage; she will sleep with men who are richer than you just because of their money. When a lady is addicted to money, she can do anything to get it, the appropriate thing is that the both of you grow together, but when this is not the case, you will never have peace as a man because no matter what you do for her, she will not be satisfied. I have seen women asking their husband to buy them a Car that is about their one year salary, does that make any sense? A woman that loves money excessively will make you go bankrupt in a hurry, this is dangerous for your future. That is why one of the points listed above is Spirituality, a Godly woman will be easily content, she will be satisfy with the little that is available at the moment, she has faith that something bigger and better is right on the way, Life is bound to be lived by Faith, not by fear or by sight. If your partner is too crazy about money matters, you may need to think twice before making her your wife; one of the traits of a good wife is the ability to manage resources effectively, been able to make do with the little that is available. Even the Blessings of God abound the most to those who can manage resources effectively, if you are not a good manager, God cannot bless you.
Decision making is one of the core values of life, you cannot move forward until you make the right and next decision, and this is very true with marriage, please endeavor to make right choices and God will help you in Jesus name, with the few pints above, I believe someone is set for a glorious marriage by the help of God.