𝗪𝗘𝗗𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗢𝗥 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗚𝗘?
Marriage is not the same as wedding. Unfortunately, most people spend time planning for their wedding day, but very little time planning for their marriage.
The wedding day is for people to eat with you, that’s not the marriage.
Don’t spend all your money and time for wedding without thought and planning for the real marriage.
Yes, marriage is a journey, which means that you will never graduate. You will always learn on the way, but here are 7 ways you can start getting ready today, that will definitely help you to be in the right course for marriage, and not just wedding.
𝟭. 𝗕𝗘 𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗠𝗔𝗥𝗥𝗜𝗔𝗚𝗘As I said in my post a week or so ago, “Marriage is not the solution to all of life’s problems. It’s an addition, not the only thing about life.” Love yourself, be happy, and get busy with your life even though you’re yet to be married.
It’s not right if all you are secretly thinking about is marriage, marriage, marriage. That kind of mindset will lead you to making very regrettable mistakes.
Be relaxed about marriage. Continue to work on yourself. Either improve your studies, get some additional degrees or learn a skill and start a business. Don’t fold your arms waiting for love and marriage. God calls and meets people in their busyness.
𝟮. 𝗗𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗛𝗔𝗩𝗘 𝗔 𝗠𝗘𝗔𝗡𝗦 𝗢𝗙 𝗜𝗡𝗖𝗢𝗠𝗘?I wish I can tell you that your partner will provide for all your financial needs. But that would be lying to you.
Marriage is not a ticket to moving all your financial needs to someone else. You need to have a means of income or at least marketable skills that you can use to earn money. Don’t think of marriage without first settling this subject.
Get a job, start a business or some side hustles. Always attend seminars on business and personal development. Earn money and save money. Marriage is expensive. It requires contribution from both parties.
𝟯. 𝗗𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛 𝗨𝗡𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗜𝗖 𝗘𝗫𝗣𝗘𝗖𝗧𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡𝗦I counsel tens of people every week. One of the biggest challenge with most people wanting marriage is unrealistic expectations. I know many people who are not married because of that today. You want to marry a tall, handsome, beautiful, easy-going, caring, cheerful, well-to-do, humble, educated, supportive, churchy, well-traveled, fine-speaking blah blah blah.
These are the wrong parameters for selecting a life partner. Those things are only found in movies and novels.
Realistic expectations are based on virtues and values, not on physical appearances. Appearances are important but focus on virtues more than appearances.
𝟯. 𝗦𝗔𝗬𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗦𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗬 𝗪𝗜𝗧𝗛𝗢𝗨𝗧 𝗙𝗘𝗘𝗟𝗜𝗡𝗚 𝗕𝗔𝗗‘Thank you’ and ‘I am sorry’ are two very easy phrases, but they have great healing and restoration powers. I sometimes jokingly say, “if you want to have a happy home, be willing to say I am sorry even when you don’t know why.”
Of course, that’s not to say, “take it all without any complaints.” But if you’ve never learned how to apologize without problems, then you are not ready for marriage.
𝟰. 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗥𝗘 𝗢𝗙 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗕𝗢𝗗𝗬We are all created in the image of God, but we must also care for that image, which is the sum total of our spirit, soul, and body. Every part of that image needs special attention.
Don’t just secretly wish to marry a good-looking person when you don’t also take care of yourself. Exercise often. Eat healthy. Lose some fat. Look good without the paintings. Become the type of person you wish to attract into your life.
𝟱. 𝗗𝗥𝗢𝗣 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗫𝗖𝗘𝗦𝗦 𝗕𝗔𝗚𝗚𝗔𝗚𝗘We all carry baggage. Pain, trauma and other negative experiences can leave us wounded, weighed down and defensive. Gradually drop it all now.
Let the hurt you feel about your divorce, loss, and ex, let them go now. Accept God’s gift of forgiveness and let your heart heal.
If you don’t let the feelings and deep pains go now and find your joy, even when you marry, you may spend your whole married life blaming your spouse for your feelings, your failures and ultimately your dysfunction.
Don’t wait till tomorrow, start unpacking those baggage right now.
𝟲. 𝗧𝗔𝗞𝗘 𝗬𝗢𝗨𝗥 𝗦𝗢𝗖𝗜𝗔𝗟 𝗠𝗘𝗗𝗜𝗔 𝗟𝗜𝗙𝗘 𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗜𝗢𝗨𝗦𝗟𝗬I was reading through a Facebook post and a lady made a very interesting contribution. From nowhere, over 40 men replied and were full of praise for her intelligence.
You see, if you know the number of people who check your profiles every day, you will adjust some things. I have said it over and over, love can start from anywhere. There are people in this social media thing. Don’t joke with it.
Be mindful of the things you share. Go back to your profile right now, remove every unnecessary picture of yourself that you have there. Repackage yourself so that your checkers will perceive you as a value driven person.
Share value. Make posts that teach things. When you comment on any post, avoid the arguments. Give valuable contributions. People are watching. People are checking.
𝟳. 𝗞𝗘𝗘𝗣 𝗚𝗢𝗗 𝗔𝗧 𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗖𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗢𝗙 𝗜𝗧 𝗔𝗟𝗟I know you have prayed a lot and you are praying. But I want to tell you, keep praying. Don’t stop. Our prayers work when we don’t expect them.
Even when you are not in a relationship, put God first. And from the start of your relationship, let God be a part of your plans. God will set you up to create a marriage more beautiful than your wedding.
Do you have a question for me? Ask in the comment.
Meanwhile, let me repeat this: Healing is coming in your spirit, soul, and body. A new you is emerging.
God sent me to tell you that you are His project. No matter what has happened in the past, your today and tomorrow will be better. You will be an amazement to the world.
Say this with me, “”I AM GOD’S PROJECT. EVERYTHING ABOUT ME IS GETTING BETTER.”
Dr. Daniel Okpara
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