Been a Pastor’s Wife is a very tasking and demanding calling, it’s a huge responsibility on it own, there are roles attached to it, it is eve much more demanding on your Christianity than if you had married a man who is not a priest, because with ministry comes spotlight, you are managing a role that others will see you, you have to be careful everything you do, how you bend your head and all, because whatever you do is reflecting who you are, and you don’t want to mislead a people, so you have to be careful and intentional about the way you live your life.
In the past, I have written articles on what you should NOT do as a Pastor’s Wife, a lot of people read that article, but today I want to balance it, by giving you, what you must do as a Pastor’s wife, what are the responsibility attached to that office and how you can meet up with it, when the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable, you are bound to abuse your office when you don’t know what it stands for.
8 Things you should Do as a Pastor’s Wife;
- Love your Husband : This is one of the most important role you have to play as a Pastor’s Wife, you must love your husband, both publicly and privately, the tendency of been used to him is there, but you must consciously develop your mind to honor him, respect and love him, because even though you are living together, remember he is still a servant of God and also a father for many people, it is very possible for a particular Grace to be at work in his life, yet you are not a beneficiary of that Grace because you are used to the carrier of the Grace. This is the situation with many people, don’t let it happen to you, at home he is your husband and both at home and church, he is your Pastor or prophet, you must give him that honor at all time, this is so critical. It takes honor to draw virtue and Grace from the life of the carrier, any Grace you desire in a person can be transferred to you if you honor he carrier of the Grace. Another reason why you must honor him is that, there could be trying time in ministry, where challenges can show up or misrepresentation, it happens to every Pastor both great and small, you must know how to keep loving him, some close people may even walk away, don’t be one of them, be wise, don’t open the door to the devil to come in. Any challenges that shows up for a minister can be overcome easily when you show love and unity to him, when the both of you are in one accord, if you pray together, God will answer speedily, the presence of God dwells abundantly in the atmosphere of peace and unity, so you must deliberately ensure there is peace at home.
- Pray for your Husband : This is your second role as Pastor’s Wife, you must ensure you pray for your husband at all time, this is so critical, because the head of any ministry, system, community, organization is always the Devils’ target, while he is blessing others and ministering to them, there are many backlash and attack that he might confront, and painfully, many pastors continue to minister and bless people while bearing their own personal pain under, you as his wife must take it up to pray for him always. The bible says; “be sober, be vigilant because satan your adversary goeth about, seeking whom he may devour ( 1 Peter 5:8 )”. Some people think because Pastors are anointed, the devil cannot come near them or they cannot be challenged, this is not true. Even Jesus Christ our lord was tried severally, the devil tried him several times but could not defeat him, this is why you must pray for your husband at all time, this is so important, so as to build a wall around him, many Pastors don’t have time for themselves, the family, they are busy doing the work of God; so you must stand in gap for him to cover him in prayer at all time, so that God can give him victory always. You must also give care consistently, look at the case of Elisha, he was a man of God, filled with the power of God, but he died in sickness, that condition is not a spiritual one, it needs care and attention, there are instances where he cannot help himself, that is why God gave him you, so that you can stand for him and help him.
- Love the Church Members : This is so very important, Pastor’s wife, listen to me, your approach to people can go a long way to build or ruin the ministry, if people love your husband, they will come around him and you are next to him, so they will want to relate with you, greet and honor you, if you don’t show them love, you will not be able to retain them, they will go away, that is the truth, a Pastor’s Wife that cannot relate well with the people will destroy the years of many labour of the Pastor. Some women feel, God didn’t call me, it’s my husband that is called, yes you are right, but your office as a Pastor’s Wife is a calling on its own. There are many duties and role you have to play in that office. I remember while I was very young, as a vibrant Christian brother, I had a Pastor then, during my undergraduate days, both him and his wife love me so much, many times I will go and buy food stuffs, beverages and so on and take it to the man of God or his family, why? Because of the magnitude of love both him and his wife showed to me, sometimes on my birthday, they will not just pray for me, they will also invite me for a dinner. This is the practicality of Love of Jesus at work. Anywhere love is found, God is at work, because God is love, so you want more of God’s divine manifestation in the church of your life? Increase your level of love for others.
- Develop yourself Spiritually: It is very unscriptural to see a Pastor’s wife who is not spiritual, a carnal people, who cannot almost take a bible study class, this is not supposed to be, you are called to be a minister’s wife, you are indirectly a minister too, you cannot camp with the anointed and not contact the anointing, Grace can be built, contacted and transferred, you have to be deliberate and intentional about your spiritual growth and wellbeing this is so important. You must have a vibrant study life and prayer life; you must be prayerful and addicted to the word of God. Let’s take a good look at the beginning, in Genesis, the devil did not go and tempt the man, it was the woman and because she lack the word of God, she fall victim of the devices of the devil, if you are not strong enough, you will be easily deceived, manipulated and tempted, I pray for you, you will not be a weapon in the hand of the devil in Jesus name, the devil is going about seeking whom to devour, to destroy and manipulate, even the bible says, that agents of darkness sometimes, appears like the agents of light, so you must be spiritual to discern between evil and good, no matter how much they hide, cover or manipulate it.
- Train Up the Children: The Bible says; train up a child in the way he should go, when he grow up, he shall not depart from it ( Proverbs 22:6 ). As your husband is training up many people in the way they should go and the way of the Lord, you as a wife, must be intentional to train up your children in the way of the Lord too, this is very important, you must lay a godly foundation for them now. The work of Ministry may not give the husband the chance to be fully involved in their training, so you have to play a major role in their upbringing. People across the world have a mindset that Pastor’s children don’t behave well, they tend to turn out bad, this is not true and this is not meant to be, that’s the devil trying to deceive and manipulate them, why will you be giving other people light and yet your own children are full of darkness, the bible says; a good man, out of his good treasures bringeth forth good fruits ( Matthew 12:35 ). Your children are meant and supposed to be the first beneficiary of the truth and light that you carry, and thank God for this generation, we have too many resources that enhances this responsibility, from audio and video sermons, to several Christian books and literature that can help children and young adult to walk in the ways of God, to build them up, appropriately. When you have labored for many years, it is your children that will be your ultimate source of Joy later on in life, when you are old and have grown grey hairs, your children will remain the only factor that brings you Joy, so train them now in the ways of the lord, so that when you are old, you will see them and e happy.
- Satisfy your Husband at Home : This is an aspect majority of people don’t talk about, and it has caused a lot of issues in Pastor’s marriage, many times people wonder why they cannot do or enjoy a peaceful home like they preach it on the altar, this is where the problem lies, when I mean, satisfy your husband at home, I am talking about every form of satisfaction, ranging from love, care, food, good memories and moment together, understanding heart, sharing good moments together, prayer, fellowship an d trip where necessary and of course, without making mistake, SATISFY HIM SEXUALLY!!!! If truly, you don’t want the devil to gain access into your marriage, you must ensure you satisfy your husband sexual needs, many women feels since their husband is a Pastor, he doesn’t need SEX, because he is an holy man of God, this mentality is a wicked and evil mindset, he is not a GOD, he is only a man of God, he needs sex like every other person out there, we must balance life and Godliness, not one side, both sides needs to be well balanced, this is so vital. You must have an understanding at the back of your mind that, he is your Pastor at Church, but at home, he is your husband, you need the wisdom to accommodate him as the two entity in one, this is the only way to keep the devil and his agents away from you, in the cause of ministering to people, pastors are faced with several temptations, one of the things that makes it easy for them to overcome it, is you. When he is frustrated at home, either sexually, emotionally or stress wise, it will be hard for him to cope when he is confronted with temptation out there, so you must build a system of defense for him, don’t deny him the sex he deserves and other emotional duties that comes with marriage.
- Support His Ministry: This is in any way and in every way, from helping him to put his bag, and documents in place, helping with the ironing of his cloth, either by yourself or taking it to the laundry, by every efforts, ensure you are a helpmeet indeed, that way, you are playing your role well and his love for you will also be ever increasing by the day. For instance, after a long workday or ministration, his food should be waiting for him, not excuse today and tomorrow, let his soul be at rest and peace for getting married to you, and you will surely be rewarded in diverse ways too, remember the way to a man’s heart is his belly. He will surely appreciate you on the altar in front of the multitude of people; you will be highly appreciated and celebrated.
- Be Accommodating : This is the last on this list today. A Pastor is a public figure and you must have that understanding that he is dealing with the outside world, you must be accommodating, people are bound to visit him from left and right, from far and near, you must be receptive of people, if you want to fulfill your responsibility as a Pastor’s wife. Pastor’s are light bearer and Jesus said, Go into the world and preach the Gospel, the demand is for the world to hear the good news, so your husband is on a divine mandate, you must have a large heart, you must be able and ready to relate with a large audience. Don’t be the reason why souls are not saved, don’t be the reason why people cannot come close to your husband, don’t hinder divine agenda. Be a full support so that you can be rewarded indeed, the Grace to fulfill this task is released on you right now in Jesus name, Amen.
I believe with this 8 points, you’d be able to fulfill your ministry as a Minister’s Wife, I pray for you that you will not fail in your duty, the devil will not use you as a instrument of destruction, you will not be a bad reference in Jesus name, Amen.