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A BOLD QUESTION FOR MY WIFE

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“Mom, do we disappoint you? Do you hate us? Do you hate your family?” Her child asked her.

She was driving her child home from school. Her husband was reading a newspaper. Her child was seated on the back seat, her husband on the front passenger seat.

“Why would you say something so stupid, I don’t hate you. Don’t be stupid” she shouted at her child as she drove on.

“Mom, that’s the reason I asked. You shout at me so many times. You call me stupid. Yet you talk so loving to other people’s children. When you came to pick me from school, you shouted at me in front of everyone because I was playing with other children with sand, yet you cheered at Boi as you watched him and his friends dance. You are so friendly to the neighbourhood children, you invite them home for a glass of juice but at home you make me feel I can’t do anything right. You shout at me almost every day. I am scared. I envy other children and how loving you are towards them. I envy how you hug other children in Sunday School and do anything to make them smile”

“You even shout at dad and get really angry at him. Dad offered to drive us, but you spoke to him so rudely. I have noticed that whenever you talk harshly at dad, he picks up a newspaper and doesn’t say a word to avoid fighting with you. Sometimes I think you treat your friends better than dad, your friends would never hear you talk badly at them. Do you always have to shout and be angry mom?”

She didn’t say anything. She continued driving.

Her husband looked at her and put down the newspaper he was reading.

Her husband noticed she was changing directions.

She drove in to the parking of Uchumi Langata Hyper.

After parking, she unbuckled her seat belt, opened the door, got out of the car then opened the back seat door to where her child was sitting.

Her husband was concerned that she might scold their child in public. She’s done it before.

Instead, she hugged and held her child closely and said, “I am sorry you feel that way. I don’t hate you or your dad. I love you. I love my family. I am sorry sometimes I get angry, angry over even little things. I don’t want to be an evil, ever grumpy mom so I will change. I will speak to you and dad better. I didn’t know what I was doing is that bad. I don’t hate you OK? I love you”

“I love you too mom” the child said.

“You should be enjoying childhood. It hurts to know that you envy how I treat other children. I am your mother, other children should be admiring how I treat you, not the other way round” she said then kissed her child on the forehead.

She looked in front to her husband, “Darling”

“Yes my love” her husband responded looking behind at her and the child.

“I am sorry also for treating you unfairly. I am sorry for taking you for granted knowing that as my husband you will always be there and feeling entitled to treat you whichever way I want. You are a good man. Even though many times I can be difficult, moody and hostile; you still extend grace and love to me. In addition to loving me, you love peace and that is why you’d rather keep quiet than start an ugly confrontation with me. Thank you for keeping your cool when I am hot with temper. I am sorry sometimes I am warmer to others than to you. I will change that. I love you” she told her husband.

Her husband unbuckled his belt and reached out to her arm. He took her hand and kissed it.

“I love you my love. You’re making it sound like you are a monster. You are a good wife and mother. It’s just that you need to work on your temper and tongue. Relax my love, you have been blessed by a good family, enjoy it. You don’t need to shout so that we know you’re serious or so that we do what you request. You don’t look good when veins of frustration pop on your head. Relax. Keep calm. You don’t have to be in control of everything. Stop being anxious about every little thing. Enjoy us. Enjoy your family. Enjoy your life” her husband told her.

“Thank you, you two. Shall we go have a meal and drinks at the food court? My treat?” She asked.

“Yes mom, let’s. I want a milkshake” the child got excited.

They all got out of the car. Holding hands, they walked to the food court as a loving family.

—————-
Check yourself and how you talk to your children and spouse. Do your tone and words speak life? Are you more hospitable to your friends, strangers, visitors, pastors than you are to your family? Don’t make your family envy how you treat others yet family should come first

Wives/husbands / mothers/fathers please take time to read this piece and make ammendments where applicable.

It is well.

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