Scripture: James 1: 19. Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:

Beloved we started yesterday on the subject of communication techniques. We shall continue along that line today.

What are Communication Techniques in family life?

A. Verbal communication:
1. Learn to listen before replying
2. Avoid keeping silent when your partner is waiting for your feedback
3. Check the tone of your voice ( for details of all these, check yesterday’s meditation).

4. Don’t assume your spouse knows when you have not communicated your intention! Beloved, don’t walk in assumptions towards your spouse or children. Ask probing questions that can give you reasonable answers. Don’t leave your children with the assumption that they should know how to do a,b,c at home.

The Bible said:

Proverbs 22: 6. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

Take your time to instruct them on what you expect of them. Don’t say they have grown enough and as such they should know, when you haven’t instructed them.


Assumption is the key to anger and other emotional hurts. So if you don’t want to get hurt emotionally don’t walk in assumption.

One of the causes of anger is mind reading! What do I mean by mind reading? It is an attempt to read what is in my mind. The unfortunate thing is that, many a times when you are trying to read my mind, you will be assuming so many things that may be wrong! You may even believe a lie and work with it.

What is the way out of assumption?

Let your partner know what is bothering you, don’t assume he/she should know. For example, you are hungry, don’t assume your spouse should know that you are hungry, voice it out “I’m hungry!” Or you are sick don’t assume your spouse knows, rather explain to him/her how you are feeling so that if there’s need to seek medical attention, that can be done on time.

Create a friendly atmosphere in your home where every matter can be trashed as soon as it crops up.

B. The second technique borders on non-verbal communication. It includes facial expressions(smiling or frowning), body posture, gestures etc! Several couples have challenges in this area of communication especially when our exposure, educational background differ. If you have challenge in communication, definitely there will be challenge in understanding and if there is no understanding there can’t be love. Love thrives in an atmosphere of understanding. So communication therefore is key to maintaining a healthy relationship.

The none verbal communication has a way of reenforcing what has been said verbally. Hence you cannot be giving a negative signal whereas you’re saying a positive thing. It is like minus one plus one equals to zero. For example you can not be saying “Dear I love you when your head is buried in a newspaper”! Saying I love you must be with eyes contact not looking elsewhere or say I love you with a frowned face. The frown of your face sends a negative signal.

What then is the technique to adopt?


Always let your non-verbal cues re-enforce your verbal communication and not contradict it. When your mouth is saying one thing and your hands or your face is saying another thing, breeds confusion because your partner seems to rely more on your non-verbal cues.

Another thing is that couples must under study each other to know what exactly the message their spouses is trying to pass across. As couples, each must learn to understand the language of your spouse , know what he/she is saying per time without uttering a word.

Remember this : Heaven is real and hell is real. A good marriage will help you to make heaven but a bad marriage can take you to hell. Don’t go to hell because of marriage. Give Jesus a space in your life.

Prayer points:

– Father thank you for your word to me today.
– Lord, help me not to walk in assumption and watch my non verbal messages in Jesus name.

Prophetic Declaration:

– I prophesy the release of grace for excellent communication in the name of Jesus.
– I declare turnaround harmony for every home that is at disarray and scattered in the name of Jesus

From your brother Alex
God bless you.

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