DON’T GO INTO MARRIAGE WITH THE MINDSET THAT IF IT DOESN’T WORK WE WILL GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS
MARRIAGE IS NOT CREATED FOR YOU TO BELITTLE YOUR PARTNER FOR THEIR FLAWS BUT TO HELP THE FLAWS BECOME STRENGTHS
YOU CANNOT RAISE GODLY CHILDREN IF YOU ARE NOT GODLY YOURSELF!
Mrs. Kemi Oyedepo at International Alive Convention (IYAC2021) Marriage-Class
I have good news for you, in your marriage and family life, you will experience excellence.
* Speak to the Lord and ask Him to send you light and understanding.
– UNDERSTANDING MARRIAGE
Marriage is good, marriage is a good thing in spite of the negative news we hear on a daily basis about people’s experiences concerning marriage, the truth remains that marriage is good. James 1:17, says every good and perfect gift comes from above. God is the One who created marriage and He created marriage for our good. Marriage was not created to hurt any of us. While a couple may be experiencing hurt in any kind of way, it is because they have misapplied God’s word.
As long as you and I are applying God’s word, as He has prescribed then we must experience the goodness in marriage.
Marriage is good, marriage was created to add beauty and colours to our lives, that is God’s intention, 1 Timothy 6:17, He has given us all things richly to enjoy, including marriage.
One very interesting fact is that everybody wants a marriage that works, we are all looking for the best days of our lives. Marriage was designed by God to work, it is not a trial and error institution, it is a working institution.
Marriage is taking someone as a husband or as a wife. Marriage is the successful combination of a man and a woman in holy wedlock. Marriage as far as God is concerned is the successful combination of a man and woman in holy wedlock. When you combine something with another, like when you use glue to put something together with none of them ever coming apart, that is the same thing when it comes to marriage. When we step into the institution of marriage and choose to combine our life with the other person, we have become one, that is what the Scriptures said, the two have become one with no intentions to ever go separate ways. This is the kind of combination that is never to disintegrate or ever come apart, Matthew 19:6.
When we go through the right process and we are called husband and wife, it is a done deal as far as God is concerned. Marriage should never be entered into carelessly. If you are close to getting married, be very sure, be absolutely convinced that you are taking the right step, don’t enter into it carelessly, don’t enter into it with the mindset that if it doesn’t work we will go our separate ways. Enter into it with the mindset of this is sealed, it is a done deal.
Marriage is a two-sided covenant, it is vertical and horizontal. Horizontally, marriage is between the man and the woman, vertically, marriage is between God and man, the couple. When you enter into that covenant, it is between you and your spouse and between God and you the couple. When it comes to this covenant, God’s side is already settled, He has no intention of backing away from His own responsibility of helping us make our marriages work. Psalms 89:34. He has given us what it takes to become excellent, it is possible to have an excellent family life, that is what we should be pursuing, not a mediocre family life but an excellent family life.
In other to have any kind of excellence, there are steps we must take, it is not just by claiming it.
– DEFINING THE PURPOSE AND GOALS OF A CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE
We have all heard that if the purpose of a thing is not known, abuse is inevitable. The same thing goes for marriage, people who don’t know the purpose of marriage are married and they are not enjoying the blessings of marriage. Many single people look at marriage as a necessary evil because they don’t yet understand the purpose of marriage.
1. To Provide Help: This is mutual support for each other, Genesis 2:18, when God saw man, He said, it is not good for man to be alone, I must find help to support him. The help is not just for the man but for the two people in marriage. Sometimes we are a bit confused, the man and woman in the marriage are supposed to receive help from each other. Marriage is not a one-sided deal, God is not a partial God, He is not just thinking about a man, He said that because He created man first.
In a marriage, there should be help for both. As a wife, you should help your husband, as a husband you should help your wife. Ecclesiastes 4:9-12, says two are better than one. You may have been okay when you were single but once you get married and join your destiny with somebody else, the two of you must be better off. When two people are worst off than one, there is a problem, something is fundamentally wrong. Nothing is wrong with the institution of marriage but something is fundamentally wrong with the two people in the marriage, they are not applying God’s word. Marriage is created to help so that two of you can enjoy greater productivity in all things. You are there to help your husband or wife. You may notice weaknesses in your husband or wife, your job is not to belittle them because of those weaknesses, your job is to help those weaknesses become strengths. Everybody has flaws, the couple you are looking at as couple goal, the husband has learned to adjust himself to the wife’s weakness, the wife has learned to help her husband’s weakness, are you doing the same with your husband and wife or are you just looking at other people and saying if only my wife would just be like that? If that is what you have been doing, you have to renew your mind and change, instead, you go to God and say, this is the wife or husband you have given to me, Holy Spirit show me what I can do to help, that is what a wise husband or wife should do. You are there to provide help.
2. Child-Bearing and Child Training: Genesis 1:28, Malachi 2:15. God wants Godly children from your union, not just any kind of children but Godly children. You cannot raise Godly children if you are not Godly yourself. One of the mistakes parents make is that they give the job to everybody else to do, you have a responsibility to raise Godly children and if you are going to raise Godly children you have to grow in spiritual things. A purpose of marriage is childbearing and child training, you may be at the point of childbearing or at the point of child training, whichever stage you may be at, the Word of God is there to help you succeed at it. You go Into marriage knowing that the fruitfulness of your body is already settled by God.
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