FAITH IS NOT SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED.
WHILE IN SCHOOL I WAS BORN AGAIN AND PASTOR KINGSLEY WAS BORN AGAINST!
MY 8 YEAR FIGHT AGAINST BARENNESS
THE SOURCE OF A THING IS ITS SUSTENANCE
WHEN I WAS THREATENED WITH MISCARRIAGE GOD REMINDED ME THAT I HAD THE RIGHT OF A TITHER
- Pastor Mildred Kingsley-Okonkwo at the Kingdom Wealth Conference tagged ‘The Secret of our Journey’
Day 4, Morning Session
Today, I’m here to share the secrets of my story and my journey. I don’t even know which secret to share. I don’t want to say it is cliche to say I’ve lived a life of grace; I can’t even fully explain how God has turned my life around. I grew up as the fifth child of six children, I went to the best schools my parents could afford, my mum is a retired teacher and my dad is a retired regional manager of one of the major banks in Nigeria, so I grew up loved and pampered. I was raised a catholic, I grew up in a home where by 5:30am every Sunday, you are at the first mass. It was not negotiable. Those things were some of the things that formed my hunger for God. Every time I went to church, I knew there was more and so I started reading the Bible.
That is one of my major secrets in life; my love for the word of God and the effect the word of God has on me. I do not read the Bible to preach a sermon, I read the Bible for my life and I think that is where people really need to learn, especially if you are a pastor. When I got to secondary school, I gave my life to Christ. I was ill and then a friend of mine came to me and said, ‘Do you know you can be healed?’ I was constantly sick as a child. That friend said, ‘Do you know you can be healed and you will not be sick again?’, I replied, ‘Why didn’t you tell me since?’. She told me to give my life to Christ first and I did, she then laid her hands on me and prayed for me to be healed and I was healed there and then. I ran to my friend Mabel, explained everything to her and told her to repeat the prayer after me, she also got saved that day and so my journey began.
I eventually got to the university, my period started and did not stop; for three months, I was bleeding. I called my sister to tell her, she then informed my mum so, I was rushed to the hospital and there began my journey with doctors. The doctor told me that I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome) and I wouldn’t be able to have a child. I became the woman with the issue of blood and for the next eighteen years, that was my story. Along the line, I met a guy, he was a doctor and he was a Christian, he said he wanted to marry me. When I knew he was a doctor, I thought that he was the answer to my prayers but when I told the guy that I had PCOS, I didn’t see him again for two weeks. When he came back, he said, ‘ It’s like you don’t know all the issues around PCOS’. I told him that I knew and asked if he could handle it? He said, ‘Well, with the way your faith is, let’s go for it’. We dated for 5 years.
I was doing my masters in the University of Lagos and He was doing his in the U.K, we already had done our introduction and the plan was for us to get married when I was done with my masters so that we both can be in the U.K. One morning, as I was having my bath, I heard the Lord say, ‘I want to talk to you’. I knew it was a serious issue so I hurried to my room, began to worship God and after that I read my Bible. The part I read that day was the Chapter where Jesus was speaking with the woman at the well and he told her that the man she was with currently was not her husband. That verse was highlighted in my spirit.
The man is not my husband?
After five years?
I said, ‘Holy Spirit, rough play’.
So, I cried and said Lord, you would have to break it off yourself.
Two days later, he called me and said, ‘I feel like something is off with you, what’s going on?’. I said, ‘Nothing’. He then said, ‘You know what? Let’s just end it’.
He later called to apologise and said we couldn’t just end like that after five years. I went back to God and said, ‘God, can’t we make this work?’. God then told me to ask him that if I was a pastor, would he still marry me? I asked him and he said ‘No’. The Holy Spirit then said to me, ‘Therein lies your problem, you want to submit to a man who is not submitted. He is going to be a lid over your life.
The person you marry is going to affect your money and your ministry so this is not the man for you’. I said ‘Okay. The same way you told me who it is not, is the same way you will tell me who it is’.
Along the line, Pastor K and I met, we became friends but there was nothing between us because he was not even my type, he was everything I didn’t want. I didn’t want an Igbo man, I didn’t want to marry a pastor, I didn’t want to marry a hairy man, I didn’t want to marry a yellow man.
One day, I couldn’t go to my church and I said, ‘Oh, Kingsley is a pastor, let me go their church and see what’s happening there’. When we were in school, he was a bad boy, I was born-again and he was born-against so I didn’t even have anything to do with him then.
When I met him later, they said he was a pastor, I didn’t even know if he was pretending so I said, ‘Let me go and see with my eyes’. After the church service, he said he would drop me but I should wait for him to be done with his meeting.
I was waiting when I felt this unusual presence of God, I was reading the Bible, the part where Samuel went to anoint the next king and he asked Jesse, ‘Don’t you have any other son?’ And Jesse said, ‘He remaineth yet one, he is the youngest and he is taking care of the sheep’. The Lord asked me, ‘What position is Kingsley in his family?’ I said ‘He is the last born’.
He then asked, ‘What do pastors do?’, I answered, ‘They take care of the sheep’. He said that is your husband. My life basically has been on God leading me through the word.
When he proposed, I told him that the doctors said I could not have children. He said, God’s word said you will not be barren, you will carry my children, in fact, I have named them – David and Davida.
We got married. The first year, no children, second year, no children, third year, no children.
Faith is not sexually transmitted; you have to do the work. I went back to the word.
The word brings light. My family started disturbing me to go to the hospital, I went there and the machine they were to use for the test got spoilt that day.
As I was leaving the hospital, God spoke to me and it was clear to me that my childbirth journey was going to be with the Scriptures. Isaiah 8: 19 -22. We were not born with faith. You eat the word and then it produces faith.
I sat down with the Bible and began to write down every scripture I could find on fertility. I was confessing different Scriptures in the morning, afternoon and night without fail. In the eighth year of my marriage, I got so intoxicated with the word, I was so furious with Satan.
I was so convinced that I was pregnant and so, I started shopping for my children, I started seeing them in my dreams. In 2013, God gave us the word for the year, ‘I will testify’. On January 5th, I was feeling very bloated, God said to me, ‘Go and do a test’. I went into the bathroom, did the test and saw two lines.
I went to the hospital, did another test and for the first time in my 34 years at that time, my womb was not empty, I was pregnant. The word of God works, the problem is that we don’t want to work it.
During the course of my pregnancy, a nurse gave me a wrong drug and I started bleeding. When I got to the hospital, the doctor told me that it was a threatened miscarriage. The Lord said to me, ‘The source of a thing is its sustenance, if you got this baby by the word, you will keep it by the word’.
The Lord, said ‘Are you a tither?’ I said ‘Yes’. He said, ‘Then you have a tither’s right.’ That Scripture says, ‘Your vine will not cast her fruit before its time’. If you are a tither, you have no reason to miscarry. I started confessing the word and had my baby 22nd of August 2013, Davida.
Two years later, the Lord stirred in my heart that there’s remaining one and it’s a boy and on August 22nd, 2015, I had my son – David. Victory through the word. So, when I tell you that the word of God works 100% of the time, I’m saying it with my full chest, I’ve seen it work.
5 THINGS THAT TOTALLY CHANGED MY LIFE – GRACE
- G – God: God is my motive and my motivation. This is not my natural disposition. I am naturally a laid back and private person but I am like this now because God is my motivation. Mathew 22: 37-38.
- R – Running with Intentionality: God is my priority and I run with intentionality. 1 Corinthians 9: 26-27. Your destiny requires that you do not give in to your flesh. If I have to pray, I pray, if I have to sow, I sow. I am very intentional about how I live.
- A – Audience of One: I live for an audience of one. I have learnt not to give myself to men; the same people that praise you today might hate you tomorrow. Galatians 1: 10. If you want to please people, you can’t be Christian, it can’t work.
- C – Consecration: The problem God has with sin is that it will destroy you. Your sin cannot make God any less than He is.
Consecration means you are set apart for His use. You have to be usable and available.
Consecration is constantly setting your face, looking at God’s eye. Romans 12: 1. What will keep you from sin is the consciousness of God.
- E – Excellence: You have to give God all or nothing. 2 Samuel 24: 24. That is my lifestyle, anything for God, I go the extra mile. Don’t do the barest minimum.