My heart is quiet sadden when i read a story online today, it was quiet disgusting and disheartening aswell, i wonder why some ladies behave the way they do, especially i am referring to married women here, why can’t you be satisfy with what you have?
Why can’t you be a Christian genuinely? No matter how prayerful you are, there are things you should not do, doing them will put your Christianity under serious attack and jeopardy… I know it is normal for ladies to respect and honor their Pastors, but is it suppose to become so much that they take their husband as nobody? This is rampant in many Churches i have been to, ladies are always the one seeking for prayers, going from mountain to mountain, they are the spiritual or seemingly religious folk, now when you are married, the first most relevant man in your life should be your husband, not your pastor, the story i read today, is an incident that happened to someone, and she shared it online last week, am going to share the story below for us all to read, so that we can rason it together and also learn from it. I beleieve every relationship should be well define from the beginning, so as to avoid story that touches the heart, it is also a level of wickedness for ladies to have a man they communicate with more than their husband, communication fosters intimacy, it enhances your connection, don’t build what you don’t want. this lady became close to her former Pastor and now that she is married, the conversation they are having together is so unclean and unhealthy for a married woman, to the extend that the man is beginning to think that something is going on between her and the pastor, and for the Pastor who doesn’t have shame, how will you chat up a married woman with pet names, and emotional expression as though you want to have an affair with her, and she is falling for this cheap prey, because she is tender hearted and probably doesn’t know it is wrong to be too close to another man more than her husband.
Read the story below, it was written by the husband himself
Hey guys I’ll just be brief.
Straight to the point.
My wife is having an emotional affair.
Whats making it worse?
It’s with a pastor with wife and children. Her pastor when she was in another state.
Now they’re both in different states.
How did I know?
I saw her chat with him about 2+ years ago, and saw all the sweet name calling, the pet names and how they tell each other their activities of the day and even marital problems.
All the red flags and checklist of an emotional affair have been ticked by them.
The only thing remaining is the sexual part.
We’ve been married for some years now, she was a virgin when I married her though I’m 100% sure they have not met since we got married.
But the issue here is that this is causing serious friction in our marriage.
When I first saw it, I gave some time to be sure and I confronted her and she denied and said he’s just her pastor (denial is one of the checklist).
Some months later they didn’t stop the communication, I was about to tell her mum cos she visited. She pleaded and I let it slide.
Fast forward to 2021 they are still in communication. This time around the so called pastor is even always reminding her to clear chats so I won’t see it.
Now emotional affair is actually worse than sexual affair
This pastor has a wife. I just pity the wife cos I can imagine how she would also be feeling.
I provide for the home, I also had to change from biz to the one that makes me travel to something that makes me work from home so she won’t say it’s cos I’m not always around.
We struggle with our sex life. What do I mean? She doesn’t like sex. She doesn’t mind if we stay 1 year without sex.
But me I’m a man with sexual needs.
Now when I see the way she doesn’t like sex and I remember this emotional affair, it drives me crazy.
Those who have passed thru this, how did you overcome this challenge?
I don’t want a broken home for my children cos sometimes I feel like calling her people and telling them to take their daughter back. Infact I’ll dash them the bride price.
Do I go and get a side chick? But that won’t solve my problem.
Guys come to my aid.
Cos if we discuss this again, this will be the 3rd time we’re talking about same issue and same guy.
Sorry wasn’t brief…..
How do I report a winners chapel pastor?
Do I confront her about again or just tell her people?
My family members don’t know about it yet cos if I mention it to them, her respect is gone forever.
Edit : for those asking, we were friends for many years even before we got married. I didn’t marry her cos of virginity. Who virginity help?
I married her cos she was my friend and we were compatible
Now, look at that story, this is really touching, this is how many women ruin their own matrimonial home without knowing, anytime we are going to church and people see that we bear the name of God, we must be careful what we do, so that our lived does not bring shame to the name of the Lord, this is very crucial in many areas, right from the way we handle money matters to the way we deal in marriage and other aspects of life, the bible says, we should be the light of the world, not the darkness, the world is already in darkness, we should endeavor to be the light and bring light not darkness to the world.
Don’t marry if you know, you will not be faithful in marriage, it brings shame to your, your family and makes you a failure in marriage and the world will not even like to identify with you, it is okay to like your pastor, but then, not at the expense of your marriage, your husband is the priest of your home, he may not be as spiritual as your pastor, but your Pastor is meant to be a blessing to your marriage and not a burden, not a source of trauma, disunity, asunder, if that happens, that is not a pastor, he must be a devil.
When the husband shared the story online, someone gave a response, more or less an advise on what he should do to handle the situation, i will also share this here, so we can see it and you are free to drop a comment on what you feel the person should do.
first, stop reading blogs that define relationships.
lets go practical. I speak the truth and it might hurt.
your wife and you got married not because you are best of friends but because you both seem to meet certain societal requirements you both set for yourselves. You wanted a virgin and a church girl from a good home. She wants a good man with a good job who will love her.
This is where the problem starts. You and your wife might be married but you are not friends. She needs someone to be free with and currently you are not..the pastor is.
Here is what you should do.
First ball is you. Are you the kind of guy that is not easily approachable by the wife on petty things? If you are, you need to change. She must have access to you on everything. If she thinks about ABC, she must be able to gist about it with you. Be more open. As regards sex, she is a learner…teach her…Sex is not just the penetration. Learn about taking it sloowwwww….For the next few days, make love without penetrating her. make her relaxed, give her a good massage, help her clean her ear, arrange her hair, help her try on different clothes, just lie on the bed and gist, kiss and cuddle, give her head, cut her toenails, do everything that involves touching but no penetration. This will loosen her more.
Take the pastor’s phone number. Call him and tell him you are XYZ’s husband. Don’t allow him to ‘pastorize’ you. Tell him you have seen the chats and you are disappointed. Tell him he should never contact your wife again or he is going to see hell on earth. Tell him you will come into the church during service to embarrass him if he doesn’t stop contacting your wife. Tell him you will report him to Winners Headquarters in Ota and via social media then hang up the call.
Next ball park is your wife. Sit her down and have this conversation with her. Tel her the most important relationship she has is the one with you. Every other one is secondary. Tell her you would love her more if she can make you her friend. If she has any thing to discuss, She should be free to do so with you. Show her love. Show her that she matters. Gist with her.
You will win her back
So our beloevd readers, what do you see to this situation? What do you advise the man to do?
Kindly drop a commet below;