Can social media cause fear of childbirth? | The Independent | The  Independent



How 🥺? What😮?

How can a bride be pregnant? What an irony!

Well… that’s the situation of things now. Pregnant couple walking down the aisle.

What happened to keeping the bed undefiled? A man and a woman shall cleave, there was no child in the picture yet 🤷. Can we stop approaching the altar like that❓

This is a subject that has been shied away from long enough and has almost become the norm. Mediocrity is being celebrated on a large scale whereas God is deeply disappointed 😭. People now even see it as a prerequisite for marriage.

The truth in the Bible days is the same truth in the modern days; our dispensation. Sex outside wedlock is a NO NO❗It has created more havoc in marriages, child upbringing and the society at large (divorce, separation, domestic violence, …)

I’ve seen a case where a very huge party was thrown for a girl (poor family) graduating from secondary school, the naming ceremony of her child and the wedding. All in the same day🙄. It was a huge celebration for them. Children who are still being spoon fed, who don’t know Jack about child upbringing.

I see both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law pregnant at the same time, all of them living in the same apartment with the boy (supposed father). They had no models to look up to. That kind of life was the usual.


I see families where the woman had bore 4 ,5 even 6 children for the man but they were never married. When I did researches on some of these homes, I realized the mother of the woman also had her family like that and probably her mother as well. It becomes a pattern.

I saw brilliant and potentially great primary school students who lost their dreams because they became pregnant. They couldn’t even further to secondary school. PS: They were not raped.

Years back when I moved to this new location in lagos, I saw and noticed all of these and I said to myself I will and can never become like these people. It might sound cynical but I had to hate most things about the place not the people because what you don’t attack, you’ll attract just as you can’t attract what you attack.

I discovered the environment played a major role in this. They all had same mentality. Even people who knew better got entrapped in this as soon as they moved into that location and ended like that. Parents, when considering a place to live also consider your children. Environmental influence is very powerful.

Now, I know it is not easy. It’s by the grace of God. Some are probably engaging in this secretly without we seeing the result (pregnancy), but we quickly point fingers at them. Mocking such isn’t the solution but pray lest you fall too. If it’s happened, it’s happened. But you can pray your way against it for your children. If you’ve not, you can still make it as God gives you the grace to.

You can still pursue your dreams and make it. You don’t have to be forced into marriage with that person. You can still have a life. I’m talking to those who still yearn for a relationship with God, who still want to make good out of life. There are testimonies of people like this and are doing well, free from guilt and doing exploits.

But to those who are still on the other side, well done 💪. May grace be sufficient for you. Keep the bed undefiled as much as possible.

Your actions today is like a dot that starts a circle. The question is, What role are you playing? Are you continuing the cycle or breaking it to start the good one? Guess what, if you can break it, the ones after you will follow the new cycle. You will do God proud 🤝.

©️ Ojo Debby Omotayo
Fashionable yet Godly


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