In my 4 years in the university, I didnt have any relationship, not that i didnt want but guys were not just coming.My friends always felt I should have a lot of admirers because of my looks but the reverse was the case.After school, the few ones I tried to have,turned out sour.One was my former fellowship pastor so I thought he will be serious as he was old enough for marriage.This was about 4 years ago.I was disappointed when I realised that he was just after sex.He started acting up, withdrawing, saying I was disturbing him emotionally and that he is tired.Later, he said we should do friends with benefit, I just cut him off totally. This was a supposed pastor trying to take advvantage of my weakness.
A year later in 2013 met another dude.It didnt last up to six months before we broke up due to our numerous differences.he also didnt make a commitment, the major thing was that we liked ourselves.It took me a long time to get time over him.fast forward to this year met a very funny and inteeligent guy.we met on an online socialnetworking site.he is in his 30’s and he seemed just like my perfect man. There was this connection I had with him and we could talk about anything at anytime.snooped on his social media accounts and I didnt see any signs of a lady or girlfriend so I felt the coast was clear.Only for me to ask him one day and he says he is in a relationship,even showed me her photo.I had already started having feelings for him, it was hard to turn back.We were so attracted to each other and it was to hard to resist him even though I knew he just wanted sex from me.Dude travels out and isnt communicating like before, even though he told me his gf is in nigeria but I wasn’t convinced.
Our major fallout was when on my birthday I didnt get message fro him until a day later, I decided to send a nasty message to him saying he was just after my body and all.Dude gets angry, I started apologising almost immediately, this happed in October.he just reads my messages doesnt reply doesnt pick my calls.Since the incident happend, I havent been myself, I have never begged or apologised to any one like this in my life, I have cried almost everyday for the past two months, I cant concentrate at work.He recently came back but didn’t tell me but I found out on my own.Went to his house a few days ago unannounced just to apologize, He got more angry in the process saying he warned not to come without telling him.He said he has forgiven me and also apologized for leading on but ended up saying he has issues with people that dont trust him.The worst part is he knows I love him so he is doing this to hurt me more.
I just cant get him out of my mind, I think about him everyday, I am in a dilemma.we never had sex, we just kissed and touched so I dont understand what is going on. I still sent him msgs yesterday but he just read them and didnt reply.I have uninstalled my whatsapp because of him so I cant send him msgs.At this point, I am fed up, I don’t why love treats me like this. I need your advice asap .