ONE OF MY BIGGEST SECRETS IN MARRIAGE IS PRAYER. YOU CAN’T DO MARRIAGE WITHOUT THE HOLY SPIRIT
DON’T USE SOCIAL MEDIA TO RUN YOUR MARRIAGE. THERE IS A WAY TO MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE WORK AND GOD HAS GIVEN US THAT WAY IN THE WORD OF GOD
IF YOU WANT YOUR MARRIAGE TO LAST, IT HAS TO BE BEYOND I LOVE YOU, YOU LOVE ME. THERE HAS TO BE PURPOSE.
– Pastor (Mrs) Mildred Okonkwo at Pastors Seed Family Session, Day 3 RCCG Holy Ghost Congress 2021 || Part 2
3. Place boundaries
Why I am saying this is because you are a social media generation, social media can’t pastor you. It’s mad people that are there. The things that people push on social media these days, it starts with little things. Soro soke. Must a man be the head? See there is an order, the person that created marriage said there is a way marriage should be run. Use the Bible to run your marriage because there are so many things that are happening out there. Today you can’t say the truth anymore, if you say the truth they will drag you.
If they are not afraid to stand up for what they believe, why should you be afraid? If they drag you, drag them back. They are making things that are important look so casual. Now you see every one on social media having premarital sex, you think they are just depriving you in Church.
Do not remove the ancient landmarks. Premarital sex, whether you use condom or not is wrong. It starts with little things, it’s okay for boys to dress like girls and girls to dress like boys and we say it’s harmless. The lines are blurry everyday. Why should you respect older people? That someone is older doesn’t mean they are wiser. I agree but there is an order.
Don’t beat your children, the Bible says foolishness abides in the heart of a child but the rod will take it away. The person that gave you the child is telling you that the right way is by beating that child.
Don’t use social media to run your marriage. No matter how sweet smelling a deodorant is, you can’t spray it in your eyes. There is a way and God has given us that way in the Word of God. We must do what the word says, don’t move the ancient landmarks, your mother was not a fool. There is something they knew and that is why their marriages were working and our own is not. Don’t negotiate the word of God. If the Bible says something, be very clear.
There is an order God has laid down, you can’t say you know more than God. After all, bread is soft let’s now use it as pillow. Why do you think you can just come up with concepts, plantain dey rotten, we say e dey ripe.
Things are getting bad and people are saying it’s a new generation. Don’t move the ancient landmarks, if it worked for our parents I guarantee you that it has been tested and trusted. It will work for you.
If you can stay faithful now, you don’t have premarital sex in your relationship. You will not struggle with adultery in marriage. Self control does not come with marriage, you carry self control before the marriage. You can never be smarter than God.
If you want your marriage to last, it has to be beyond I love you, you love me. There has to be purpose. If God is involved in your marriage and there is something He is using your marriage to do, you can’t say you are not doing again. Imagine me and Pastor K saying we are not doing again.
Marriage is never easy but the truth is never stop praying. One of my biggest secrets in marriage is prayer. I know it sounds cliché because everyone is looking at us and they are saying marriage goals, let me tell you Jesus is your only marriage goal. You don’t want to be us, you want to be better than us.
When I first got married to Pastor K there were a lot of things that shocked me not in a bad way but you know a lot of times people have expectations. That’s something you should ask yourself: What are my expectations? So I assumed that when we get married, my husband and I will pray together, study the word for another 2 hours.
First shocker is that by 8pm my eyes have started closing, after that anything you tell me it is at your own risk.
Night is for sleep, even Jesus said the night cometh when no man can work.
Once it is 8 pm my eyes have closed, meanwhile Pastor K’s eyes are wide open till 4am. He doesn’t sleep at night, 4am is when my husband is saying Good night. I wake up at 4:30 everyday and that’s when I pray. It’s like an owl and a chicken getting married, so when I am going into the bathroom to brush my teeth and start my day is when my husband is coming out of the bathroom to sleep. I say Good morning and he says Good night.
So I realized that if we are going to have prayer time, we will have to book it like appointment. That would have caused a problem but the Holy Spirit told me “your relationship with me is intact. His relationship with me is intact. What you need is wisdom”.
Second shocker, my husband believes that the Lord giveth so we can spend freely and I believe in saving.
How can you be a human being and you don’t have savings? So I was really shocked. My husband is a big spender, he doesn’t have faith in money he has faith in God so money is not anything to him. It’s a good thing but it can also become a bad thing.
We were planning our wedding and we went to look for a reception hall.
My fiancé at that time told me he wanted to ease himself, so after like thirty minutes I didn’t see him. I went to look for him and I saw him outside with two dogs. He was talking with the man and I said what are you doing? He said he just bought these dogs. I said you can’t buy dog, the money we have is for wedding.
He said don’t worry. I thought he was joking, after the wedding the first day I landed in the house, two dogs ran to me wagging tail.
After we have used faith to buy chairs in our house to start life, the dogs tore the chairs, messed up everywhere.
My husband said that’s what dogs do. One day after cooking stew I went upstairs and my husband said he was hungry so I went downstairs and I saw my pot clean.
I went outside and I saw stew on the mouths of the dogs. I thought we had learnt our lesson but after some time my husband came home with a South African Boerboel that eats imported food.
So I knew this thing would cause wahala. I was praying about it and the Holy Spirit told me to show him the fruit of what I want to teach him.
You can’t do marriage without the Holy Spirit.
So he will come and say “Ah Babe it’s like you have money”. I will say “Yes. I have been saving”.
He would now say “it’s like this saving thing works oh”.
Do you know I could have been complaining and created problems but praying was the solution and praying softened his heart.
Today my husband is the saver, I am the one buying things for children now.
Were you blessed today? Celebrate Jesus.