-Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo
Ladies if you are talking to a man about anything, beyond the emotional part, try to look at the logical part of that discussion. The reason men run away from discussions with women is because women get emotional about every discussion and women don’t understand why men are so unemotional. One of the common words you will hear from a woman as a man is that you are emotionally unavailable, you are just there physically but for a woman, physically is not enough, you have to be there emotionally.
When she is going through some things and she is telling you, she is not telling you for a solution but affection. Men talk for solutions, women talk for affection if a man is talking to a man they are looking for solutions.
This is why some men don’t talk to their wives because they feel they can’t bring the solution, men always talk for solutions. Women talk for affection.
The wisdom is this, if a woman is talking to you about a challenge, don’t be quick to offer her solution, she wants you to empathize and be available in the situation so just listen and be asking questions, let her talk, that talking alone is therapeutic for her, it even helps her feel better and she is so smart, she will discuss the problem and also bring the solution.
It is wrong for you to be married and not be able to talk to your spouse or your fiancee, it is wrong to say you are busy you can’t talk, that talk is the deal.
The reason men run away is that they feel that the things you are telling me I don’t even know the solution, she doesn’t need your solution, just empathize. Just be available emotionally. Many men are not available, they either dismiss, defend or disagree.
Don’t do any of those things, let her talk. Don’t be pressured to bring solution.
Women on the other hand, when a man is talking to you, he actually needs a solution, he doesn’t want you to just cry with him, bring solution.
Think of something and give advice even if he doesn’t go with your advice, don’t be angry, if you can’t, tell him you will pray about it. A man doesn’t mind the encouragement and the solution. If you are talking to a man, look for the logical part of that discussion.